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I’m really not winning…(excerpt from Linal Harris’ diary)

Linal celebrating his 38th birthday with family and friends!

Linal celebrating his 38th birthday with family and friends!

 

This weekend I celebrated thirty-eight years on the planet.

Typically every year, I write a birthday blog post that expresses my gratitude for life and/or provides a perspective for reflection on how things have changed since I was a child.

This year my birthday blog post will be different.

Recently, with the help of my life coach, I’ve learned quite a bit about myself, which sourced an interesting epiphany.

The epiphany:
I don’t recognize and celebrate my wins.

Over the past few years, I’ve had some extraordinary wins in my life. Yet, I’ve completely overlooked them. I’ve overlooked them because I have trivialized the circumstances and interchangeable conditions of the wins.

I’ve asked myself questions like:

  • What if that one thing hadn’t happened?
  • What if that one thing had happened?
  • Would I still have this win, if it weren’t for that one thing?

My mind has the capacity to create a thousand scenarios that will nullify the legitimacy of any achievement. The list goes on and on for why I can’t celebrate a win!

I’ve obsessed over all the moving parts that created my wins, thereby giving my thoughts completely to the circumstance. Thus, no thought or energy is given to celebrating!

Does any of this seem familiar? I’m sure I’m not alone in this practice.

I haven’t celebrated any of my achievements in quite a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I am gracious. I appreciate the support and love I get from my family, friends, colleagues and close acquaintances. I smile and express my thanks for their kinds words, but it’s been tough to let that translate into the freedom to celebrate.

I’ve told myself a story that because of the what ifs of circumstance my wins aren’t really wins. After all, the what ifs could have changed the entire outcome of the circumstance that lead to the win.

 

After this epiphany, it finally hit me. The circumstantial what ifs can’t change the fact that I experienced a win!

It’s all in the past.
…and we can’t change the past.

So why am I glossing over real wins to focus on past circumstance?
Well…maybe it is the same thing we typically do for the losses we suffer.

We gloss over the opportunities of the present, because we’re fixated on the interchangeable conditions of past circumstances and the subsequent loss. 

It’s all the same context!

Life is full of variables. However, if one of these variables produced a loss, I would allow myself to feel the full impact of that loss! Yet, when these variables produce a win I’m hesitant to celebrate.

If I have a win, I should celebrate!
It doesn’t matter how it happened. It’s a win!
The Score is: 1-0

If you have a win, you should celebrate!
It doesn’t matter how your win happened.
It’s a win! Celebrate!

Just because you’re not where you want to be, doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate on the way to your destination.

 

This week, I’m asking you for one gift for my birthday:

  • Explore your relationship to winning and losing.
When you win, are you taking the time to adequately celebrate your win?

When you win, are you taking the time to adequately celebrate your win?

When you win, are you taking the time to adequately celebrate your win?

When you lose, are you obsessing over all the variables and interchangeable conditions of your loss rather than being focused on the opportunities of the present?

These are the questions I’ve been asking myself and they are transforming my relationship to winning and losing.

I’m really not winning if I don’t celebrate the win. Furthermore, who am I to trivialize and inspect my blessings?

Who are you to trivialize and inspect your blessings?

Let’s learn to celebrate our wins!
Let’s seek to learn the lessons of our losses and find the present opportunity.

This week and over the coming years, look for reasons to celebrate and stay inspired, it’s a lifestyle choice!

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